Anxiety keeps showing up for me as a big wolf circling around me about to bite at any point in time.
I sit myself down to meditate and close my eyes and there it is. It looks at me with its big eyes, drooling sharp teeth, black body like a dark smoke surrounding everything. My body shivers with dread and terror, my breath shallows, I cry and I can’t ask for help right then and there.
But I get up and start walking. And another day passes, I wake up and my throat is tightening, my chest feels hit by a hammer again and again, I feel dizzy and my heartbeat is having a party on its own with very loud music which in my head are translated as: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa someone get me out of here.
I am aware I am not dying and the experience has a name. For the past few days this wolf keeps coming back to remind me that it is just behind me and at the same time, there is a part of me that reminds me also: “just hold on. It will pass. You’ll find your way. Hold on and you will find me.”. I don’t know who that “me” is but I hold on.