Guilt didn’t kill me. I came out alive.
Guilt came along yesteday
Actually I invited it in
It was knocking on my door for quite a while now
Guilt said “You did this. You coward. You left them.”
And I said “thank you guilt for telling me the thoughts”
Guilt pushed against my chest
And grabbed my throat to throw my head under the water
I could barely breathe but I let it do it anyway
“You did this. You did it consciously and then hid away from me.”
And I knew that was Guilt’s truth and I said
“I trust that this is real and valid. I am aware that is an experience I hid away from. I trust you will do with this body what you need to and I will bare witness to it all. Bring it all. I am ready now. I can see you now.”
And guilt swirled around, tensed the upper side of the body
As if it was being punched and in deep pain.
Stiffness, lack of tears, no forgiveness just Guilt storming inside heavily.
Time passed and something broke, there was a rawness in the chest
As if the skin was peeled off along with other layers
And the heart was out in the open.
Silence came and Guilt said thank you.
So thank you.